4X4 Hobby Humor







Really Cool Personalized Jeep/4x4 License Plates License
Plate What It Means (if not otherwise obvious)

´┐ŻBADAYS - Zero Bad Days
1TUFFTJ - One Tuff TJ
1TUFTRK - One Tuff Truck
2X4X8 - A "Stud", of course
4LOW - 4 Low
4WHEELR - 4 Wheeler
4X4 4FUN - 4X4 for Fun
9IN ARBS - 9-inch axles with ARBs
AJP THNG - A Jeep Thing
BAA BAA - Best suited for use on a "Black Jeep"
BIGTARS - What them good 'ol boys in the deep south put on their FO-BY-FO's
BLT2ROCK - Built to Rock
BLT4MUD -Built for Mud
BLT4RKS - Built for Rocks
CUOFFRD - See You Off-Road
CRAWLN - Crawlin
CRBCRLR - Curb Crawler (seen on a Jeep wannabe)
CHX JEEP - Chick's Jeep
DCEPTV - Deceptive
DETOUR - Detour
D44ARBS - Dana 44's with ARBs
FLXABLE - Flexable
FOBYFO - What them good 'ol boys in the deep south put their BIGTARS on
GO JEEPIN - Go Jeepin
GO N GPN - Going Jeepin
GO N JPN - Going Jeepin
GONEJPN - Gone Jeepin
GONWHLN - Gone Wheelin'
GOT 4LO - Got 4 Low? (a la, Got Milk?)
GOTJEEP - Got Jeep?
GOTROKS - Got Rocks?
GPN4EVR - Jeepin Forever
GR8 GPN - Great Jeepin (seen on a Moab Jeep)
GUFNOFF - Goofin' Off
H8 PVMNT - Hate Pavement
HERJEEP - Her Jeep
HISJEEP - His Jeep
HUB DEEP - Hub Deep
HUMRETR - Hummer Eater
IBJEEPN - I Be Jeepin
IMA492A - I'm a 1949 CJ-2A
IN2JPN - Into Jeepin
JEEPCHIC - Jeep Chick
JEEPFAN - Jeep Fan
JEEPNV - Jeep Envy
JEEPRZZ - Jeepers
JEEPTJ - Jeep TJ (or CJ, YJ, XJ, ZJ, etc)
JEEPINTJ - Jeepin TJ
JEEP NV - Jeep Envy
JP THRLZ - Jeep Thrills
JPN4EVR - Jeepin Forever
JPNAKED - Jeep Naked
JPNSGR8 - Jeepin's Great
JPOWNZU - Jeep Owns You
KRAWLR - Crawler
KRBKRLR - Curb Crawler (seen on a Jeep wannabe)
LNGRIDR - Long Rider (seen on a Scrambler)
LTSGOGPN - Let's Go Jeepin
LTSGOJPN - Let's Go Jeepin
LUV2 4X4 - Love to 4X4
LUVMYJP - Love my Jeep
MAILJP - Mail Jeep (seen on a DJ)
MANGLED - Mangled
MANGLER - Mangler
MONEPIT - Money Pit
MUD LVR - Mud Lover
MUD PIE - Mud Pie
MUD RUNR - Mud Runner
MUDY JP - Muddy Jeep
MY TJEEP - My TJ Jeep
NTAJEEP - Not A Jeep (I saw this one on a Zuki)
OIIIIIO - No explanation needed!!
ONALL4S - On All Fours
ONDROKS - On The Rocks
ONLYONE - As in "There's Only One"
ONLY1JP - Only One Jeep
OVR BLT - Over Built
PLAHARD - Play Hard
RCKJEEP - Rock Jeep
RCKSPDR - Rock Spider
RED JP - Oh boy, now that's an original one ;o)
REDROKR - Red Rocker (seen on a Moab Jeep)
RKCREPR - Rock Creeper
RKCRWLR - Rock Crawler
RKDANCR - Rock Dancer
RKDGZJP - Rock Dog's Jeep
RLMEOVR - Roll Me Over (mounted upside down!!)
RNDHDLT - Round Headlights!
ROCK HND - Rock Hound
ROCKRIG - Rock Rig
ROKJNKY - Rock Junky
ROKNTJ - Rockin' TJ
ROK TOY - Rock Toy
ROLOVR - Rollover
ROUGHIT - Rough It (The luxurious motor home that pulls SHRTKUT)
RTICUL8 - Articulate
SHRTKUT - Shortcut (Towed behind ROUGHIT)
SHE J 7 - Guess where I saw this one !?!
SITECN - Sight Seeing
SITECR - Sight Seer
SLOPOKE - Slow Poke
SOLONG - So Long (seen on a Scrambler)
THANG - You'd have to see this one to believe it!
TOOLONG - Too Long (also seen on a Scrambler)
TJEEPGRL - TJ Jeep Girl
TJS ROCK - TJs Rock
TJS RULE - TJs Rule!
TJTRUBL - TJ Trouble
TLDMAT - "The Letters Don't Mean Anything" (ha ha, I love this one!)
TRAIL TJ - Trail TJ
TRL R8D - Trail Rated
TRL RIG - Trail Rig
TWISTED - Twisted
U-NEEK - Unique
UGROWUP - You Grow Up!
ULTMTCJ - Ultimate CJ (or YJ or TJ or ZJ)
UR2LOW - For that guy with the really big lift kit
WANNABE - Appropriate on any 4x4, except of course a Jeep!
WAYOLIF - Way of Life
WEBEJPN - We Be Jeepin! (this is on MY license plate!
WEDWOKR - Red Rocker (Elmer Fudd pronunciation)
WRNGLR - Wrangler
XTRM TJ - Extreme TJ (or CJ, YJ, etc)
YGROWUP - Why Grow Up?

Top 10 Reasons to date/marry a chick with a Jeep

10. You won't have to share your Jeep with her.
9. Weather permitting, she prefers driving topless.
8. Since she is obviously not into creature comforts, she will be Low Maintenance.
7. She can probably perform her own Jeep maintenance, so you won't have to.
6. She won't bitch when you are out working on your Jeep.
5. She probably has her own tools.
4. She likes it rough and bumpy.
3. She can take your Jeep in for warranty work, and they won't ask her a single question,
even with that 4" lift and those 33" Super Swampers.
2. She will usually buy you Jeep parts for gifts, and expect the same in return.

And the NUMBER ONE reason to date/marry a chick with a Jeep:
1. Plenty of spare parts waiting to be stripped from her Jeep when she's not looking.


Why Jeeps are Better than Women

1. Jeeps don't get pregnant
2. You can drive your Jeep any time of the month
3. Jeeps don't have parents
4. Jeeps don't whine unless something is really wrong
5. You can share your Jeep with your friends
6. Jeeps don't care how many other Jeeps you've ridden
7. When driving, you and your Jeep can arrive at the same time

HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN

• Compliment her CJ
• Cuddle her CJ
• Kiss her CJ
• Caress her CJ
• Love her CJ
• Stroke her CJ
• Tease her CJ
• Comfort her CJ
• Protect her CJ
• Hug her CJ
• Hold her CJ
• Spend money on her CJ
• Dine her CJ
• Buy things for her CJ
• Listen to her CJ
• Care for her CJ
• Stand by her CJ
• Support her CJ
• Go to the ends of the earth for her CJ

HOW TO PLEASE A MAN

• Show up naked in your CJ, oh and bring beer

ONE DAY IN HEAVEN

There were these three men, Dave, Jon, and Sam - who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.... Now they stood there at the gates of heaven. An angel came up to them and said. "You are all to be allocated a method for transportation around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." The angel looked at Dave and said: "You, Dave! You cheated on your wife five times!!! For this, you will drive around heaven in an old beat up Metro!" The angel next looked at Jon and said: "You Jon, were not as evil....But you still cheated on your wife three times! For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a two wheel mini-van." The angel finally looked at our hero, Sam, and said: "You, Sam have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Jeep CJ-7." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's CJ. There he was, head in hands, crying.... "What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the CJ-7!!! You're set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and said: "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board

JEEP CREED

This is my Jeep, there are many like it,
My Jeep is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My Jeep, without me, is useless.
Without my Jeep, I am useless.
I must drive my Jeep true.
I must drive better than the Chevy who is trying to pass me.
I must out drive him before he out drives me. I will . . .
My Jeep and I know that what counts on this trail is not the
gas we burn, the noise of our exhaust, nor the smoke we make.
We know that it is the driving that counts. We will drive . . .
My Jeep is human, even as I, because it is my life.
Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts,
its axles, its engine, and its quadratrack.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage.
I will keep my Jeep clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other. We will . . .
Before God I swear this creed.
My Jeep and I are the defenders of TREAD LIGHTLY.
We are the masters of the trail.
We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is AMC's and there are no other 4x4's, but Jeep!


JEEP PRAYER

To thy trails we come,
Thy maintenance be done In Garage,
As it is on the trail.

Give us this day our daily drive,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those that trespass on us,

And lead us not unto illegal closures
But deliver us from Sierra Clubbers

For thine is clearance,
The articulation,
And the traction forever.

Amen


YOU ARE A REAL JEEPER IF....

1. A new dent in the sheet metal actually fixed another dent, or it just added some character.
2. You know at least 3 800 numbers to aftermarket off-road business by heart.
3. You are on a first name basis with the guys at every local auto parts store in town.
4. You want to take things apart and rebuild them, even if they are not broken.
5. You have a monetary equivalent of a Mercedes Sedan invested into your jeep, but it still looks like crap.
6. You consider starting a vehicle five times in any given minute routine.
7. You own a vehicle, which now weighs 1000 pounds more than when it came off the showroom floor.
8. You look for jeeps in everything, and try to figure out the year and model.
9. You are the type of person who immediately goes postal if you sit in a highway traffic jam more than 5 minutes, yet you can spend six hours driving one and half miles and consider it to be a form of relaxation.
10. You'll stop and look at any old rust heap thinking parts vehicle.
11. Your Jeep has more (farm/boat/military/other) equipment on it than OEM parts.
12. The weatherman says "Stay in, it's dangerous" and you think "Time to go wheeling".
13. You are happy that you can't use 1st gear on the street.
14. A military convoy passes by and you only look at the axles, tires, and antennas.
15. You have enough straps, chains, rope, etc. in your Jeep to keep the Queen Mary docked during a hurricane.
16. You understand that JEEP is a way of life, not just for transportation.
17. You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.
18. A low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you, and you get out and Bitch slap the driver.
19. You have a high-water mark on the Inside of the Jeep.
20. You use a ice scraper on the Inside of the windshield.
21. The AAA guy breaks down, you stop and fix his problem and get back on the road.
22. You'll drive 2 days at 600 miles a day so you can spend 2 more days driving 3 miles per day.
23. You have more pictures of your Jeep than of your kids.
24. You spend more time deciding which $3.00 bushing to use than you do on personal hygiene.
25. You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep.
26. You call a scratch or dent, a beauty mark.
27. You roll it over and don't get upset.
28. You puke when you see a RAV-4.
29. You pull into the Unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
30. You take your friends wheeling and they say, "Trail?; I don't see any trail!"
31. You've been forced to add CJ, YJ, and TJ to your spell checker.
32. It rains and you don't care if your top and doors are on or off.
33. You change your plugs in the parking lot at work while on break.
34. You get more heat through the holes in the floor than you do through the heat vent.
35. Every page of your repair manual has greasy finger prints on it.
36. Every car wash in town has banned you for life.
37. You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.
38. You are the only one on the street that doesn't plow their driveway.
39. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage.
40. You nickname your Jeep after i.e.. the noise it makes, the last screw up on the trail, etc.
41. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.
42. You carry more extra fuel than what most of today's cars hold in their gas tanks.
43. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.
44. When rendezvousing with a lady for the first time, you tell her that you're the one that smells like a Jeep.
45. Winter comes and you can't remember where you put the top.
46. Your wallet is always empty.
47. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm.
48. You carry along a replacement part for every driveline component on the Jeep.
49. You slam your door and pieces of mud or rust fall from your Jeep.
50. You have to let the air out of your tires to get the Jeep into a garage.
51. Your parts department is on blocks behind your house.
52. Passengers scream "Don't Roll It!" when you take them wheeling.
53. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
54. You think any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel.
55. You can't take a girl in a dress on a date without carrying along some steps.
56. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.
57. You get custom pin striping from trail brush.
58. You are outlawed at every car wash in town.
59. You can see OVER a Suburban
60. You're sitting here reading this while your wife/husband is waiting for you in bed.

JEEP COMMANDMENTS

1. Thou shalt not misuse the name JEEP.
2. Thou shalt not steal any JEEP property.
3. Thou shalt not murder on a JEEP Jamboree, or any other time.
4. Thou shall respect the land and animals, for they are what make off-roading fun.
5. Thou shall covet other JEEPS with respect, for they cost money.
6. Respect your father, mother, they neighbor, for one day they may own a JEEP, should you want to drive it.
7. Thou shalt not give false testimony against JEEP, especially while telling a fish story.
8. Thou shalt not commit sale to another, without first giving respect to JEEP.
9. Thou shalt not purposely harm your JEEP or your neighbors JEEP.
10. Thou shall idol JEEP for it was given to rejoice.



Freakshow, (Bob)
n6rbt@verizon.net

ALWAYS REMEMBER
Jeep stands for,
Just Empty Every Pocket